The Lost Warrior: How to Find Your Purpose After the Fight

From the Warriors’ Ascent Podcast | Episode 8

“Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions? Not miserable, but not really alive either? That’s called languishing. And we’ve all been there.”– Mike Kenny, Co-Host

This episode tackles a challenge every warrior—military, first responder, or otherwise—faces at some point: what happens after the mission ends?

When the uniform comes off, the title disappears, and the tempo slows down, many of us ask:

• What now?

• What’s next?

• Who am I without the job?

This is where purpose comes in. And not just any purpose—a self-defined mission.

⚔️ Languishing vs. Flourishing: Why Purpose is Not Optional

Psychologist Abraham Maslow placed self-actualization at the top of his hierarchy of needs—after food, water, and safety. But most people treat it like a luxury. At Warriors’ Ascent, we know better:

“What one can be, one must be.” – Maslow

Without purpose, even a life with comfort, safety, and money can feel empty. That's where many veterans and first responders find themselves after retirement: afloat, adrift, disconnected.

🔍 What Does Languishing Look Like?

• Feeling directionless

• Loss of motivation

• Going through the motions

• Low-level discontent

🧭 What Does Flourishing Look Like?

• Clarity of purpose

• A sense of mission

• Daily motivation

• Feeling aligned, energized, engaged

🛠️ Reclaiming the Warrior Within: Define Your Mission

“I’d written countless mission statements for ops orders—but I’d never written one for my life.”– Matt Hastings

This is a moment many veterans experience: realizing that while their career had clear milestones and structure, their personal life didn’t.

When the structure disappears, so does the sense of identity.

It’s time to flip the script.

✍️ Purpose → Mission → Goals

We use a simple but powerful framework at Warriors’ Ascent:

1. Purpose – Why are you here?

Your why. Your reason for being. The thing that lights your soul on fire.

Example: To lead and empower warriors to reclaim their strength and healing.

2. Mission – How do you live it out?

Your boots-on-the-ground application of your purpose.

Example: Through mentoring, teaching, podcasting, and building healing communities.

3. Goals – What’s the next step?

Tactical, measurable, achievable. Weekly, daily, quarterly.

“You don’t conquer Mount Everest in a day. You set intermediate objectives.”– Mike Kenny

You can adapt this framework for every phase of life. The key is incremental progress with intention.

🌀 The Venn Diagram Test: Find Your Calling

Adapted from Jim Collins’ Good to Great, this tool helps you find clarity by asking three questions:

1. What do you love?

What brings you joy? What would you do for free?

2. What are you good at?

Skills, talents, expertise—what do people affirm in you?

3. What can support your life?

What could realistically help you earn a living or sustain your lifestyle?

Where those three circles intersect is your calling.

“If you love beaches and beer, that’s awesome. But unless you can sustain that, it’s just a hobby—not a calling.”– Mike Kenny

If you’re in transition, start here. Let that sweet spot guide your next steps.

🪖 Why Veterans Struggle with Identity Loss

Matt and Mike share their own stories of losing that sense of identity post-service.

“People used to salute me. I was a Green Beret. Then I’m getting yelled at for how I loaded the dishwasher.”– Mike Kenny

It sounds funny. But it’s real.

The transition from warrior to civilian can feel like a freefall. Without a mission, many spiral into depression, addiction, or a sense of irrelevance. That’s why tending the soul is not optional. It’s the key to post-service survival—and thriving.

🔁 Reinvention Isn’t Weakness. It’s Warrior Work.

“My mission has evolved. But my purpose? That’s the same.”– Matt Hastings

Think of your life in phases—just like a military campaign. When you complete one mission, you don’t retire your purpose. You restructure it for a new environment.

Examples of Phased Missions:

• Phase 1: Serve with honor in the military.

• Phase 2: Help other veterans heal from trauma.

• Phase 3: Build a business that provides purpose and freedom.

Each phase has different goals, but they’re aligned under a common purpose.

💥 When Hope and Motivation Run Low

Sometimes it’s not about clarity—it’s about energy. You know your purpose, but you can’t get yourself to move.

Matt recalls the heartbreak of being turned back from a flight home, after months in Iraq.

“I crossed the berm into Kuwait and thought I was done. Then two days later, I was going back north.”– Matt Hastings

In the next episode, the hosts break down hope and motivation with actual equations. But for now, know this:

If your purpose feels distant, start small.

• Journal daily.

• Walk 15 minutes.

• Call a teammate.

• Revisit your mission statement.

Small steps rebuild momentum. The flywheel turns again.

🔑 Key Takeaways from Episode 8

✅ Languishing = a soul without direction. Flourishing requires purpose.

✅ Military rank is not your identity. You are more than your uniform

.✅ Use the Purpose → Mission → Goals framework to reclaim focus

.✅ Your purpose may stay constant, but your mission will evolve.

✅ When energy is low, go back to your “why.” Then act, even if it’s small.

📌 Your Next Steps

• ✍️ Write your personal mission statement

• 🔁 Revisit the Venn diagram: What do you love? What are you good at? What can sustain you?

• 🎯 Set weekly micro-goals toward your mission

• 🤝 Join a healing community (like Warriors’ Ascent)

• 📣 Share this with a brother or sister-in-arms who needs it